Keiki Inside...So What?

On many occasions, as I'm driving, I'll see that the vehicle in front of me sporting the "Keiki Inside" sticker. For those of you who don't know what that sticker means, obviously, you're a foolio, but it means that the driver has a child inside their car, and if you could be on alert, and drive carefully for that mere fact.

I know people think this, but I don't recall seeing the sticker and thinking to myself, "Hey, it's a "Keiki Inside" sticker; I should start driving more carefully than I usually do." Why? I don't know. Maybe it's because, uh, I drive carefully all the time, derrrrr! Even though that thought may not come into my head as I see that sticker, two thoughts do come to mind:

Should I be driving more recklessly if you didn't have that sticker? Say I do get in an accident of a minor extent, and we need to fill out a police report because let's say, it was your fault. Does it now become my fault because you have that sticker?

The "Keiki Inside" sticker is basically a cheaper and less-illegal way of having a police siren attached to your car. When other drivers see that sticker, they act as if a police car is behind them, driving with all caution necessary to not get pulled over.

So even though I don't possess a keiki, I've been thinking about getting the "Keiki Inside" sticker and sticking that bad boy on my car. Then no dummie drivers would mess with me. "Yeah, I roll around with no keiki, but you don't know that, and I've got the sticker, so don't you be cutting me off!"

But if everyone were to put that sticker on their car today, it'd be pretty funny tomorrow. Like, "Dude, how many kids were born like, yesterday?"

So you guys better drive carefully all the time, and if you see that sticker, drive MORE carefully!

Another YouTube Video? Frrrrrrrrick...

"Eh, you ever seen that YouTube video where that kid is in the car with his dad and he's all high after being at the dentist?"

"No."

"What?!?! Here, let me show you!"

OK, we all know that video is "David After Dentist," and obviously, that's a really funny video. But how often does this happen when your friend asks you if you've ever seen a certain video on Youtube, and you answer that you haven't, and he/she absolutely just NEEDS to show you that video? Then, you have to both gather around the computer screen and watch the video. Granted, the video may be funny, but it also may be a waste of time, so I always approach the situation hesitantly. And in my head, I'm like, "Frrrrrick, another video?" but outside, I'm smiling, like, "Hahaha, no, I've never seen that video before."

You may really not want to watch another video that they're suggesting to watch, but the whole idea is to not be a dickhead to your friends because they've took the time to ask you about a video that they think is worth watching. They liked it, you might too. And then if you don't in fact like the video, you have lie via facial reactions. "That's pretty classic..." Even a "Haha" will do.

I'm aware that if any of my friends read this, they will probably never ask me if I've seen a certain video and if I haven't, show me. But oddly enough, I'm usually that guy who's suggesting a video to watch...I wonder if my friends do what I do to me???


Flushing the toilet,

Loa

No Need For a Sign, Just a Parrot

Currently, I'm working in Waikiki, and what I've noticed is one dude who sits near the Outrigger Hotel with a sign asking kindly if anyone can spare him some change because he's "hungry." For my dear life, I can't remember a time when I seen anyone give their hard earned cash to him.

But what I do see in my curious observations are these dudes on Kalakaua Avenue with parrots that are making some good mula. Let me just say that I'm not entirely sure if they're homeless, but word on the street is that they are. And from the looks and actions of them, they seem like they definitely could be in the homeless range. How they have parrots, beats me.

Tourists on vacation won't even stop by a dude holding a sign who's begging for a few dollars, but regardless of how you look, if you have a parrot or two on your shoulder, you better believe tourists will stop by, and give you money for taking a picture with your parrots.

After work one day, I had a few beers and went outside onto Kalakaua Ave. I seen two of these parrot holders outside; one a haole guy, and one an older, local guy. I was like, "What's up guys, can I get a picture?" The older, local guy was like, "No, no, no. Are you F.B.I. or C.I.A.?" I started laughing to myself. F.B.I. or C.I.A.? That was a first. "No, I just wanna get a picture of you guys and the parrots, they're beautiful parrots," I replied, recomposed in my buzzing state. The local guy said to take a picture of his haole friend and the haole guy was more than happy to take a picture of himself with his parrot.

As we were about to take a picture, a haole tourist who was carrying a longboard over his head, walked in between us. The parrot guy just went berserk! He yells at the guy, "What the f*ck do you think you're doing? I'm trying to take a picture!" But the haole tourist just kept on walking, minding his own business. He then tells me, "Hold my parrot," and puts the parrot on my shoulder and walks away towards the tourist saying, "I'm gonna knock his ass out!" He took about ten steps, walked back towards me, took the parrot, and took this picture.

I dug out after that, and literally said to myself, "Did that just happen?"

It's crazy though how these tourists will let their little children take pictures with these parrots that they don't know if they're healthy or if they're clean, or if their owners are...um, all there. And then they pay them some cash.

 I'd say, if you're a homeless dude, find out how to get yourself a parrot and make that paper!


Flushing the toilet,

Loa