I Was in Black Swan, Now What? Oh, I Know.

Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis were both in the dark movie "Black Swan," and both are now in the same romantic comedy movie. Actually, it's not the same movie, but the main plot seems oddly the same. "No Strings Attached" and "Friends With Benefits" have the girl and boy who just want to have sex without forming feelings for one another. For the peeps that dug Natalie more in "Black Swan," you can have "No Strings Attached." For all you who dug Mila more, you can have "Friends With Benefits."

You be the judge.


Flushing the toilet,

Loa

College in Your PJs

If you're not in your pajamas, are you expelled? And what if you don't take your class in the morning but at lunch time? Should you change into your pajamas? Are boxers considered pajamas? Does anyone use the term pajamas anymore?

Every time I see this commercial, I keep thinking that a bunch of dudes sitting at home will want to join this college merely because they think, "Hey, it can't be true? Killing two birds with one stone? I can get an education AND meet hot chicks?"

Newsflash, you can't.

I know, she lost you at...well, no words, just at the pajama site, but there's no real college where everyone just sits in their pajamas and gets an education; this commercial is only connecting you to online colleges that already exist. The whole pajama spiel is only a suggestion.

But that'd be weird if a college did exist where students, in their pajamas of course, got online together at the same exact time, had a professor, in her pajamas of course, and you were all connected via Skype, and if the professor--let's call her (yes, a her) Professor Alba--saw you with more than your pajamas she'd say, "Excuse me? Um...take off those more-than-necessary-pieces-of-clothing immediately!" Regardless of the time, you had better be in your pajamas: If you were sticky from a hard day of working construction and you were so dirty that the dirt from the construction site had given you a New Jersey spray tan on your face, you had better strip, and get your pajamas on. If your baby had just spewed not into his cup, but onto your stomach because you were wearing no shirt and you had to login in five seconds and there was no time for cleaning it up, you had better get your pajamas on. You wouldn't want Professor Alba to be mad, would you?

But I always thought it was cooler to see real people at a physical campus as oppose to emailing "professors" and reading student's papers via online. But if the schedule doesn't allow you to attend classes or you prefer not to attend classes at a physical campus, classes online is definitely a nice option for you. And you DON'T have to wear your pajamas if you don't want to. The important thing is to get an edumacation!


Flushing the toilet,


Loa

Guys With Good Bodies Don't Wear Shirts When They Run

Do you gel your hair before you go for a run?

I was locking up my bike on Kalakaua St. right outside of Duke's Waikiki when I looked up and seen this guy about to begin his run. I could tell because he wasn't sweating, and wasn't huffing and puffing. What struck me about this guy was that he had gel in his hair, and I must say it was quite a cool hairdo. Regardless of his cool hairdo, I thought to myself about this idea of gelling your hair before you go for a run, and specifically this guy that I saw.

Let's think about his location: he's in Waikiki--there are a lot of good looking females in Waikiki so he does in fact have a reason to gel his hair. A woman could wave him down in the course of her running because of his gelled hair and be like, "I don't stop in the middle of my run too often...well, I've never done this before, but you just have amazing hair, and I'm pretty turned on that you'd take the time to gel your hair before you went running. Wanna grab some drinks later? Here's my number."

Let's think about what he was wearing: he was wearing black mesh shorts and a white mesh shirt--both Nike-looking pieces--good choice, right? But guys with good bodies don't wear shirts when they run, so to compensate for his lack of a good physique, he gelled his hair. He wasn't fat, I'm just sure that he wasn't rocking a six pack. But a gelled hairdo can sometimes throw off a woman's interests and trick her into thinking that you do take care of your body if you don't.

Let's think about the time: I seen him at approximately 7:20 AM this morning. Obviously, it wasn't 4 AM in the morning, so there wasn't a marathon--I didn't see others running in huge packs or anything that would indicate that he was running in a marathon. He and I both knew that there was not going to be any photo ops. He looked like a tourist so I know he didn't work a graveyard valet shift. That means he woke up with a purpose: to look sharp while running just in case anything awesome would happen. He took one step out of the bathroom without gelling his hair, took a step back into the bathroom, stared himself in the mirror, and made magic with his gel product and fingers.

Let's think about his possible downfall: gel and sweat--not a great combination. I hope he saw that woman within a five minute span of me seeing him (unless he's a quick sweater) because if he was running and the gel mixed with his perspiration and then slipped away from his attempt to wipe it off his forehead and made its way to his eyes, and then the woman saw him, he'd be the closest thing to the Miami Heat crying in the locker room after their loss to the Chicago Bulls (my beloved team) last Sunday, and he'd be screwed.

If you are a person who gels their hair before they run, that's cool, keep doing it, there are some positives that come with a gelled hairdo while running. Just keep in mind that if I see you, I might chuckle simply because I've put too much damn thought into this, and if you're a true, natural sweater, wear a headband just in case you miss that drip of gelled sweat.

Flushing the toilet,

Loa