Thursday, January 24, 2013
Using an iPad is not so sly
When you witness something out of the ordinary like a man irresponsibly wearing short shorts, you want to take a picture of it and post it on your social media sites so that all your friends can see what you saw and say, "Oh man, look at what Loa saw, he's so funny!"
Nowadays, everyone's taking a picture of everything using their phone. You walk past a tree, you take a picture. You're about to eat a delicious meal, you take a picture. You see you a boy dog and a girl dog getting in position to...walk with their owner, you take a picture. You get the point, everything at any given moment is subject to a snapshot.
But just how sly can you be taking a picture with an iPad?
"Hey, we need to find a way to get this," I would tell my friend.
I'd then direct my friend to stand in a way as to block my iPad such that my unassuming target, a dude irresponsibly wearing short shorts, would be unable to detect any covert picture-taking.
"Um, yeah, hi," the guy would stand up and say. "Yeah, over here. I heard what you said and see you with your iPad trying to take a picture of me. You don't think I notice an iPad?...or can hear?"
"My iPad? Oh this thing? It's a book...a black book. A sleek, black book that I sometimes like to read out loud to my friend here, Ricardo. It's a story, called 'Find a Way.'"
"Uh, no it's not. You'd be surprised to know that I work for Apple so when you say that's not an iPad, I'll respond to you that the dimensions of an iPad are 9.50 inches by 7.31 inches. Oh you go by millimeters? That would be 241.2 millimeters by 185.7 millimeters. The depth is 0.37 inch and it weighs 1.46 pounds...662 grams, if you will. That "black book" you're holding, is very similar to the device I'm describing. Don't play dumb with me. I may irresponsibly be wearing short shorts, but I ain't dumb. Shall I go on?"
"No dude, I'm seriously reading this book on my iPad to Ricardo. Look, it's really called, "Find a Way" by Merril Hoge, ya friggin' dick. It's about him overcoming all these obstacles to achieve his goal and to achieve a life that's worth a darn...ya friggin' dick!"
I would then show him the front cover of "Find a Way" on my iPad:
Then the guy who was irresponsibly wearing short shorts would sit with his head down thinking he's such a jerk, and I would slyly take a picture without him noticing. It's tough to secretly take a picture with an iPad, but if you got dem skills, you got dem skills.
Flushing the toilet as I have too, Found the Way,