No Need For a Sign, Just a Parrot

Currently, I'm working in Waikiki, and what I've noticed is one dude who sits near the Outrigger Hotel with a sign asking kindly if anyone can spare him some change because he's "hungry." For my dear life, I can't remember a time when I seen anyone give their hard earned cash to him.

But what I do see in my curious observations are these dudes on Kalakaua Avenue with parrots that are making some good mula. Let me just say that I'm not entirely sure if they're homeless, but word on the street is that they are. And from the looks and actions of them, they seem like they definitely could be in the homeless range. How they have parrots, beats me.

Tourists on vacation won't even stop by a dude holding a sign who's begging for a few dollars, but regardless of how you look, if you have a parrot or two on your shoulder, you better believe tourists will stop by, and give you money for taking a picture with your parrots.

After work one day, I had a few beers and went outside onto Kalakaua Ave. I seen two of these parrot holders outside; one a haole guy, and one an older, local guy. I was like, "What's up guys, can I get a picture?" The older, local guy was like, "No, no, no. Are you F.B.I. or C.I.A.?" I started laughing to myself. F.B.I. or C.I.A.? That was a first. "No, I just wanna get a picture of you guys and the parrots, they're beautiful parrots," I replied, recomposed in my buzzing state. The local guy said to take a picture of his haole friend and the haole guy was more than happy to take a picture of himself with his parrot.

As we were about to take a picture, a haole tourist who was carrying a longboard over his head, walked in between us. The parrot guy just went berserk! He yells at the guy, "What the f*ck do you think you're doing? I'm trying to take a picture!" But the haole tourist just kept on walking, minding his own business. He then tells me, "Hold my parrot," and puts the parrot on my shoulder and walks away towards the tourist saying, "I'm gonna knock his ass out!" He took about ten steps, walked back towards me, took the parrot, and took this picture.

I dug out after that, and literally said to myself, "Did that just happen?"

It's crazy though how these tourists will let their little children take pictures with these parrots that they don't know if they're healthy or if they're clean, or if their owners are...um, all there. And then they pay them some cash.

 I'd say, if you're a homeless dude, find out how to get yourself a parrot and make that paper!


Flushing the toilet,

Loa