I wish sometimes I was an animal. No, not a bird so I could fly. Not a pig so I could oink. Not a turtle so I could be slow as hell. But an animal with a tail; any animal with a tail.
Why?
With every fly that came my way to constantly irritate me over and over again, waa-pah! He/she (I don't know how you differentiate between sexes of flies) would get the mean whip from my tail and die.
Now don't quote me, and say that every time a fly lands on an animal-with-a-tail's ass, they will die by the wrath of its tail. What I mean is, whatever animal body I'm in, I'm going to make it a point to rack up my fly-kill statistics.
Too many times have I let flies get away with murder, landing on my human skin, me whooshing them away, them coming back, me whooshing them away, and them coming back! It's like they're playing this stupid game of how many times it takes before I slap myself with a fly swatter (which I currently do not own so this makes no sense at all). It's time to get animal with an animal tail!
If this should teach you anything, remember that we are not all Mr. Miyagis with chopsticks; it's going to take some human-to-animal-body transformation.
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