After work, I got in my car, and Eminem was blasting on the radio barking like a mad dog again. I haven't listened to every song of Slim Shady's, but it seems as though he is yelling in every song that I hear from him. I can't imagine having a conversation with Eminem.
"Hey, what's up Em," I'd start off by saying.
"What's up, Loa!," he'd yell at me looking like he wants to start a fight.
Slowly, I'd say, "I'm doing good...how are you?"
"I'm great!" Eminem would begin. "It's such a great day! The sun is out and there was a nice breeze!"
"Why are you mad then?"
"I ain't mad!"
"Then why do you keep yelling at me?"
"I ain't yelling, homie! I ain't yelling!"
Soon after that, I would sit down with him, and let him know that I recorded our entire conversation without his consent. At first, he would be mad, but then I would give him a little nod to let him know he was getting mad, then he'd listen in on the conversation.
"I'm so sorry, Loa!" he would yell. "I mean, I'm so sorry, Loa. I don't listen to my own music, so this whole time, I didn't know I was yelling like a madman."
"It's ok, Eminem," I'd say as I consoled him. "I care about you, and I care about your well-being. You'll get through this, I know you will. It'll take time, but trust me, the world is about to change once you stop yelling madly in your songs. Have you ever thought about your throat? You yell so much that there's no need to smoke cigarettes--you're gonna eventually be speaking through a microphone out of a hole in your throat. Do you want that, Em, do you want that?!"
"No," he simply would answer with a frown.
Changes are upon us, my friends. Great changes. And it all starts with Slim Shady.
Flushing the toilet,
Loa
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