Saturday, January 15, 2011

Fan Jumpers

On Tuesday, I'll be jumping on a plane to San Francisco.  It's been a while since I've temporary left Hawaii, and I won't lie, I'm ecstatic.  We all possess this bug in which every so often, we want to leave Hawaii.  Actually, regardless of where you live, there will probably be a desire to jump to another piece of land that you don't call home.

I can understand people jumping away from their homeland for a while, but I don't understand HOW people jump sports teams considering you were supposed to be a one-team fan.  I'm aware that I will be seeing a ridiculous number of San Francisco Giants hats roaming around in San Fran--I probably won't even realize these people have faces, just a swarm of black hats with orange lettering--but ever since they won the 'ship, I've seen that future ridiculous number of hats in Honolulu.  Woah, where did all these closet Frisco fans come from?  (Yikes, that could have been read wrong!)

Let's play this scenario out:

Loa: Hi, I'm Loa.
Recovery group: Hi, Loa.
Loa: Well, it started in '94 when I finally found out...I was a fan jumper.
Recovery group: (A choir of gasps).
Loa: "MY" team was playing, and then...and then...
Recovery Group: (Silent anticipation).
Loa:...I found myself rooting for the other team because they were winning...(begins to cry hysterically).

Must be the curse of the "no professional team."  And in any case, you'll probably hear or be in this real-life conversation:
Guy A: Sooo, you're a Giants fan?
Guy B: Yeah dude, they're so sick!
Guy A: Since when?
Guy B: Since ever!
Guy A: I thought you liked the Boston Red Sox?
Guy B: Yeah, but I always liked the Giants too.
Guy A: You son of a barney, Imma kill you!

Ok, no, Guy A doesn't say that last line, but you get the picture.  It must be nice to be born in Pittsburgh. "Oh hi, I'm Loa, and I'm a Steelers and Pirates fan."  Or if you're from Chicago. "Oh hi, I'm Loa, and I'm a Bears and Bulls fan. Daaaaaa Bears, daaaaaa Bulls" (I really am a Bears and Bulls fan; had to mention that).

In Hawaii, we have a plethora (I hate when people use that word.  Yeah, we know it means excess, and yeah, we know you looked in the thesaurus to find it, good choice!) of team lovers that there is no cohesive team loving, and I'm not even talking about sports now...or am I? Nah, but sports in Hawaii will always come back to the University of Hawaii at Manoa sports--the dedication and loyalty lies there.

See ya'll when I get back.

Flushing the toilet,


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